Pro-Tip: The level of Hangover is greater to or equal than the volume of alcohol times age. This math is only valid after the age of 24.
-Yvonne "I'm never drinking again" Schmitt
Page 7: Feb/15/2014
The availability of a man is determined by a few factors:
1 - Is it the weekend?
2 - Is there alcohol involved in the decision making process?
3 - Are you wearing an illegally short skirt?
4 - Is there cleavage involved in the decision making process?
5 - Are you not being a pretentious bitch?
May I just say, that going out clubbing was the greatest idea that I have had in a long line of great ideas?
Before you panic, no. I didn't go home with anyone. But did I let anyone think that I wouldn't be going home with them? Maybe not.
Flirting is Life's way of reminding you that somewhere, in that vast ocean of emptiness and dumb mistakes, there is a little oasis in which people find you varying degrees of attractive.
Do I have to act like I'mless of a MENSA Candidate an idiot? Well, it's a nightclub. So yes, sometimes. But that is the price I'm willing to pay. And damn. Damn. It's worth it.
-Yvonne "Bet you thought I would" Schmitt
1 - Is it the weekend?
2 - Is there alcohol involved in the decision making process?
3 - Are you wearing an illegally short skirt?
4 - Is there cleavage involved in the decision making process?
5 - Are you not being a pretentious bitch?
May I just say, that going out clubbing was the greatest idea that I have had in a long line of great ideas?
Before you panic, no. I didn't go home with anyone. But did I let anyone think that I wouldn't be going home with them? Maybe not.
Flirting is Life's way of reminding you that somewhere, in that vast ocean of emptiness and dumb mistakes, there is a little oasis in which people find you varying degrees of attractive.
Do I have to act like I'm
-Yvonne "Bet you thought I would" Schmitt
Page 6: Feb/13/2014
I've tried with all of my resolve not to write about it being "February" and "V-Day is among us".
I've left all the brooding pent-up inside like any other healthy American.
I mean, I own a bookstore in Chicago. If I wanted public angst, I could look. around. the. bookstore.
Am I over 'Fatticus'? Yes. (Did I mention he's put on a load of weight since we broke up? Because his Facebook pic was looking a little pudgy when I finally deleted him last week. It's a slippery slope for a man who's main wardrobe consisted of skinny jeans. Just saying).
His girlfriend is a total skank.
I'm over him.
-Yvonne "No more losers" Schmitt
I've left all the brooding pent-up inside like any other healthy American.
I mean, I own a bookstore in Chicago. If I wanted public angst, I could look. around. the. bookstore.
Am I over 'Fatticus'? Yes. (Did I mention he's put on a load of weight since we broke up? Because his Facebook pic was looking a little pudgy when I finally deleted him last week. It's a slippery slope for a man who's main wardrobe consisted of skinny jeans. Just saying).
I'm over him.
-Yvonne "No more losers" Schmitt
Page 5: Feb/01/2014
Happy Birthday Book.
You are presumably one month old.
Gratz?
-Yvonne "I have an official reason to drink tonight" Schmitt
You are presumably one month old.
Gratz?
-Yvonne "I have an official reason to drink tonight" Schmitt
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