Good Store Ideas:
==>Let's get a STAR-WHO-GIVES-A-FUCKS! Every bookstore with any merit has a STAR-WHO-GIVES-A-FUCKS inside of it. If I have one more fucking fake-framed, beanie-wearing, ear-gauged, clove-smoking, poster child for participation award winning after effects ask me why we don't have a Starbucks in our store, I'm going to have to plead outright insanity when the state finally pins the murder back onto me.
==>Have an app that lets customers know how many fucks I give at a rate of fucks per hour, or FPH, on the fact that we don't have a Starbucks.
==>Start a Kickstarter campaign to fund my future bail.
==>Apparently, as I was informed today, I need to look into something called "Cruelty-Free Coffee". -Apparently- Ol' Folger's is up to no good because they don't cost $35 a bag, with a prominent sticker saying that 'No slaves were harmed in the production of this slave product'.
==>Burn the store down, collect insurance, go to Venice.
On a completely unrelated note: Atticus came in today to ask if I am still going to his band's concert? Um... no? Men are stupid. Leaving your Motorcycle parked in the same place every night is stupid.
-Yvonne "Your Band Sucks" Schmitt
